Although I have been crappy about updating in recent weeks, I have in a very mysterious way been writing my ass off. (This is in reference to the super double top secret project I wrote, that my writing partner won’t let me talk about for reasons I don’t understand, but go along with for his comfort. And yes, mentioning something that I can’t elaborate on further does make me feel like a huge douche. I hope that is mitigating.) Anyhow the good news is that I am now pretty much done with the super double top secret mysterious writing that I am not allowed to tell you about.
The sad news (other than that I can’t tell you about the secret project) is this: for the next two or three weeks I am going to place my sole focus on the super double “go ahead and read it if you want to” project that only about fifty of you care about. What is this project? Why it is my middle grade fantasy book, Gray Bolt Ascending, of course!
I had a very good momentum going with it when I first started, then lost it due to a bunch of responsibilities being dropped on me from out of nowhere. But now, I am going to bear down and finish the first draft in the next two weeks. So approximately fifty of you should now rejoice. Your minor “squee” of excitement will not suffice. I need some serious rejoicing. Okay? Good.
Enough, enough. Seriously, you should stop now. You’re making me uncomfortable. No seriously knock it off!
ONE OF THE GOOD GUYS DIES AT THE END! DOES THAT WIPE THE SMILE OFF YOUR FACE?
There, I thought that would do it. Also, I’ve been wanting to announce that kind of news since the first time I saw previews for sweeps season on television when I was a toddler. Although in this case I am not just making a joke. One of the good guys in my middle grade fantasy book will die by the end. Muahahahahaha!
Now for an interesting tidbit. Did you know if I write fiction for too long I get a sort of creative mental lag? I just start thinking up different weird scenarios that don’t have anything to do with anything.
Yesterday I spent thirty minutes staring off into space thinking about how horrible it must be to look like Abraham Lincoln (this is because no matter what you do to your hair style, you will always look like Abraham Lincoln) whereas people who look like Jesus are just crying for attention. Hey assholes who look like Jesus! Don’t come whining to me when a simple haircut would solve all your problems. Guys who look like Abraham Lincoln are the real unfortunates.
So today, while I was knee deep in Gray Bolt Chapter 13, I started to think about what it would be like if I were a crusty old sea dog in a bar with sawdust covered floors, thumping my peg leg in time with the music, as I swung my beer stein from side to side as I hollered old shanties. I concluded that this would be pretty awesome, except for the times when I had to stare distantly out at sea and talk about how “Aye, the sea she’s a harsh mistress she is, but one I love more than I have ever loved any faye lass.”
Then I looked up a bunch of sea shanties on youtube, and sang along with them. This one is my favorite.
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21 comments ↓
By the way, the reason it would be horrible to look like Abraham Lincoln is that people would always approach you with different historical facts about Abraham Lincoln. Except of course by this time in your life you’re 35 and know just about every fucking thing about Abraham Lincoln despite having no fucking interest in the Civil War period and end up listening only to be polite.
Except you can’t say this to anyone, because “hey they’re just trying to be nice” but deep inside you’re thinking “Man, fuck that dude. Just because I look like Abraham Lincoln doesn’t mean I have to hear about him ruining books he stuck in his roof twice every goddamn week.”
It’s agony if you really think about it. I’m pretty sure it was one of the tortures listen in Dante’s Inferno. “The third circle of hell is reserved for people who look like Abraham Lincoln.”
Being a Lincoln look alike would be awesome. You can show up at Civil War reenactments drunk, bitch slap Jefferson Davis and tell him to knock it off with this bull shit!
*Rejoices* Goodluck getting around the Writers Block. Think about BC… you are God of another universe… what you say goes!
Are you drunk?
Did someone spike your apple juice, or did you just let it ferment?
I think I just found myself a new hobby…shanties.
Hey! There is a Jesus lookalike singing along in that video!
And, yes, I am one of those rejoicing 50. ^_^
I used to work with a guy who looked like Abraham Lincoln. He was fired from his job when he was arrested for DUI and used his one phone call to ring up the company president. At 2 a.m.
@Eric
We need to have compassion for people who look like Abraham Lincoln, not try to cover up their suffering with justifications for the behavior of Lincolnists.
@Tat.
It’s not so much writer’s block as it is me just getting silly after writing for a while.
@Rob
Nope.
@Les
Yup.
@ShawShaw
No squee?
@Nikki
And don’t you think he was driven to alcoholism by constantly being held up to a standard he could never meet? I bet everyone expected him to be honest and hard-working.
Finish the story and quit your bitchin’
ps GrayBolt should kick your sister in the sniz as part of his service to society
As someone who works at a major UK university, I’ve seen several students who look like Jesus.
Not sure whether Jesus ever rode a skateboard, though…
Rob F…yes Jesus rode a skateboard. How else would he “shr3d for G0d YO!”…you damn atheist bastard.
I quote: “Your minor squee of excitement will not suffice.”
I withheld the *squee* for fear of its inadequacy. But… if it makes you happy…
*SQUEE!*
Sea shanties are always awesome. I once saw an old geezer who looked exactly like the Sea Captain in Friday Harbor. Leather face, squinty eye, corncob pipe and all. Did you know these guys still exist? I didn\’t! I was only 11, but boy did I stare at him so much I feel embarrassed about it now.
*SQUEE!*
Jesus dude\\\’s from Nova Scotia. Of COURSE he\\\’s been driven to alcoholism.
Of course, Stan Rogers would get seasick crossing a wet lawn…so they said.
I thank you all for the Squees and the Stan Roger’s information.
I am currently three-quarters of the way through chapter fourteen, and would be further, but my foot really hurts and sometimes I just have to look off into the sky and think “Fuck…. that STILL hurts” before I can go on.
I’m going to chop it off tonight so I can get more done tomorrow.
Then you’re just going to bitch about your bloody stump.
Eric, complaining is the one thing I have. Would you take that from me too?
Plus, we both know that I would get a peg leg and do nothing but talk about how great it was.
No I guess not, but only because it takes on such hilarious forms like your stories. Also if you\’re going for the peg leg you should cut off a hand too. Cause without a hook to strike fear into peoples hearts they\’ll just call you stumpy and throw termites at you.
Holy shit - Halifax?
I live in Nova Scotia, specifically the fishing-mining-sea shanty part, and I swear to you that my earliest memories of summer were actually very, very close to that video. (ceidlighs with half-drunken men who were also good singers crowded around the kitchen harmonizing the hell out of memories)
good times, good times
There was a hole in my life up until I heard that shanty.
Fucking Beautiful.
I want to learn the words and go around singing it…
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