Author’s Note: I just realized this is probably horribly confusing to people who did not follow me from Rudius, as I have kind of constructed a new readership. Here are the details. I used to work for a company called Rudius Media, and wrote for a site called DaddyDontHitMe where I posted funny stories from my childhood. The company’s owner was named Tucker Max. I quit writing there a year ago.
Update on account of the Gakwer Link: I wrote this to be polite (I figured even assholes deserve second chances) so I could put it behind me and stop being asked questions about it, before several things happened which made me not want to be polite anymore. Okay, that kind of sounded like Jack Dalton in Road House, but its more or less why I came forward. Blech… that really was corny. I apologize.
It’s been a year since my last update on DaddyDontHitMe, and I know a lot of my long time readers have been quietly wondering what happened between me and Rudius Media. Since I feel enough time has passed that I can be objective about it, I might as well spill. It’s not that interesting a story so there’s no real reason to shut up about it. I can almost promise you’ll be disappointed.
Basically:
I was a moron.
Before Going On:
I do not know why the other writers on DaddyDontHitMe chose to stop writing. I heard one was having remorse over discussing their family in a public forum, and I think that contributed to their choice. Other than that, I have no idea.
The other writers and I were never really in strong contact with one another, and when they left I was never even told they were officially gone. My personal feeling was that if they left it should have been announced so people weren’t left wondering, but I wasn’t in charge of that.
Some readers assumed I entered into some Machiavellian plot to make myself the sole author on the site, but I promise that was not the case. The most Machiavellian thing I have ever done in my life is when I let Jessie Hovig take the fall for me farting in class in the third grade. I still think about it sometimes… and Jessie if you ever read this, I am sorry.
Reasons I was a Moron:
I was a moron for having the expectations that I did. I figured I could make a few grand a year (I didn’t think two grand was that unreasonable an expectation) for what I was putting out, and that after a year or two I could get a book deal. The problems basically began and ended with communication.
1. At the end of the first pay period, I didn’t get a check. I had been writing for two and a half months, and when I asked what was up it was explained to me that while they had assumed I was never going to be paid, they would be happy to pay me retroactive to day one at the end of the next pay schedule since I didn’t quite have a full three months in.
That probably should have sent up some red flags, but I posted on the Rudius Media Messageboard quite a bit, and I knew the people I was working for relatively well even if we had never met. So, I gave them the benefit of the doubt. Plus, it was a start-up so mistakes get made often.
2. Three months later, still no check. I write polite e-mail to my editor (who by the way, is a tremendous guy and in no way accountable for my departure). He doesn’t know, but promises to pass it on next time they all have a meeting. I wait for about two weeks. I send another e-mail, telling him I really need to know what’s going on. He still doesn’t know. Again, not his fault.
3. I wait another week, and my check shows up, about a month late by this time, meaning I’ve been employed by Rudius for seven months now and this is the first payment I have received.
The pay is shockingly low… and I know how much writers usually make.
I’ve told people in private e-mails the amount if I thought it would be of some use to them in a professional capacity, or if I knew them well enough, and once when I was just really pissed off about it. Anyhow, think of a very very very low number. Then divide it in half. That’s about how much I got paid. Odds are, you may still be thinking of too high a number.
4. I go for a long walk. I wait for two days. Then I write an e-mail to Tucker Max, politely but firmly asking what happened. I send it to a friend to make sure I do not sound too angry. I send it on when I’m assured it’s not pissed off.
I basically say that while if someone had explained to me at the very beginning I would be effectively writing for zero money, I would have been fine with this turn of events, I felt I deserved some kind of explanation. Rudius marketed itself as a very successful network of sites, I was one of the more popular people on that network, how could I be performing so poorly?
Again, very very very poorly.
5. I get an e-mail back from Tucker saying basically (it got forwarded to something like six other people, and was answered within thirty minutes which I thought was kind of classless), I should have had knee-trembling gratitude to even be associated with the Rudius brand, how dare I be arrogant enough to speak to him that way, and I would be left as the nothing I was found.
I think I made myself some microwave burritos after that and read a Stephen King novel. I pretty much knew where all the chips were going to fall at that point, so I was more or less just going through the motions.
6. I write a letter to my editor and several other members of the Rudius staff telling them how grateful I was for the help they gave, and that it was unfortunate I would no longer be working with them.
I kind of got the sense that Tucker wanted me to beg to get my site back in an e-mail I got from one of the Rudius staff, but as there was a snowball’s chance in hell of that happening I politely replied that while I understood the financial realities, and would have been fine with them had they been explained when I first started, I did not feel I could continue on with Rudius. Then I thanked that person for the time they had spent helping me.
I love writing. It’s what I have wanted to do since I could make words. I left because of the lack of communication. Nothing more to it, really.
FAQ:
Do I ever regret not working for Rudius anymore?
There was really only one time I regretted it, and that was when my sister got married. It happened about two months after I left, most of my audience had no idea where I was, and I really really wish I had been able to get a good ten or twenty of my readers to that hell fest.
Aside from wishing I had all of my audience at my disposal to make that occasion even more ludicrous than it was, no I have no regrets.
Am I mad?
I was for about two or three weeks, and only in an off hand kind of way. I had bigger problems to deal with than sitting in my room and glowering over internet drama. My sister’s step-daughter (whom she bought from her drug addict mother) started living with us, and I wound up taking care of her and trying to make sure she turned out all right after going through that kind of ordeal.
Hey, I wasn’t invited to write for a site about childhood trauma because I don’t have a lot of bullshit dealt to me by my relatives. Needless to say, I have more pressing problems then mulling over angry e-mails.
In short, I was pissed off. Then, I got over it.
Why didn’t anyone ever say that you left?
My guess is that it’s the atmosphere among the Rudius people. For some reason it’s perceived as very shameful if someone leaves. I’ve seen a couple of times when someone leaves that there’s a kind of Amish type shunning that comes into play where no one will ever address that the person is gone. Personally, I think that just makes something that is small and trivial turn into something mysterious and cult-seeming.
Have you ever been hired somewhere and had all of your co-workers refuse to mention the person that had your job before you did? No. Because that would be creepy. Unless you work for the CIA, in which case it’s totally understandable.
I had professional differences with the company, and now I blog somewhere else. So. Fucking. What?
I don’t know this for certain, you’d have to ask them, but it’s probably more or less accurate. If I were in charge I’d rather have people know than resort to gossipy speculation, but I’m not, so it is what it is.
Is Tucker Max an asshole?
I don’t know him other than from a very few e-mails. However, when a guy describes himself as a narcissistic, self-promoting asshole what do you expect?
My experience with him indicates that he’s an asshole asshole, not a Han-Solo/Charming Guy asshole. But again, I don’t know him well enough. He may just have been exceptionally dickish to me, or it may have been the standard case.
I don’t know him.
What about everyone else?
Nils Parker, Erin Tyler, Donika Miller, Luke Heidelberger, and Ben Corman were all very nice people. If I were running some kind of business I would hire any one of them. The communication problems seemed to result from the patriarchal structure of the company. As far as I can tell, one person had all the authority and that always fucks things up for the underlings.
The nicest person to me personally was fellow writer Mark Ebner. Although I of course reciprocated by not talking to him, as direct communication with nice professional people tends to make me tongue-tied and extremely uncomfortable. But then again, if I were a socially competent person would I be able to imitate Yoda, Golem, and Chewbacca? I think it’s a fair trade off. The ability to imitate creatures that don’t exist is vastly more important than social networking.
You know what? I think I’ll add Mark to my blogroll, because that’s just how I roll. He really was nice to me when he had no reason to be and that kind of goodness deserves recognition (in the form of a shockingly low number of hits.)
What about other writers who left?
I know three other writers from Rudius who were fired/quit, and the problems all get back down to communication. No one they spoke to had any authority to answer any questions, and it screwed up their whole relationship.
One of the writers I spoke to after I left is a professionally published author, and I felt relieved that his interpretation was the same as mine. Even though it has about dick effect on the outcome it’s always best to be embarrassed in a large group of people than individually.
Would I recommend working for Rudius to anyone else?
It depends on what you want. If you want any kind of money, even a pittance, do not. Rudius is not there for you to make money.
If you want an audience of a couple thousand people go for it, but if you want to write professionally I wouldn’t stick with it long term. Writing for an editor for a year or two can be very beneficial to you in terms of professional experience, but by the time you write a book you should go ahead and make your own personal blog and promote on there.
It’s not like being in someone’s blogroll gives you carte blanche on their audience. People have specific tastes, the internet is huge bordering on infinite, and there’s no reason readers need to stick within one small group of blogs so they won’t. Some of the audience will click on you, some people will like it, but most people won’t. If you retain even 20% of the people that click on you as lifetime readers, you are not only kicking ass, you’re setting records.
Maybe if they get some kind of mainstream success it will be worth it for the promotion. I can’t see the future, so you’ll have to decide that for yourself.
Was I banned from the messageboard?
I have no idea. I felt it would be better if I just never logged back on, so I never did. A lot of the people I used to talk to were on another messageboard anyway so I went there. It wasn’t a really big deal to me. I just like a place to tell jokes that aren’t in story context.
I know the Amish shunning attitude kind of comes into play over it… but I’m not Amish so I don’t care. I believe in the supremacy of laughter. My god is made of chuckles.
Do I secretly sacrifice animals to pagan statues in hopes that I will destroy all the future success of anyone at Rudius Media?
I’ve always prided myself that my tastes have nothing to do with how I feel about someone personally, so no.
I know Tucker’s making a movie. I have some serious doubts about his ability to turn funny vignettes into a cohesive story, but I don’t pray for his downfall. I mean, a movie has hundreds of people involved. I’m not going to wish all of them ill because one guy is kind of a dick. And even if I resorted to that kind of pettiness, all it would do is take up my time. In fact, I wish them well. It’s what the chuckle god would want.
I do get occasional e-mails from people who want to tell me all their horrible Tucker Max/Rudius secrets because they see me as someone who can verify or deny them. By and large I don’t reply because… well because I don’t care. If I can manage not to care, you should be able to do the same.
I’d much rather spend my time speculating about what an intelligent macaw would do with its day. This may not work for you, but I would suggest finding something that does and stick with that.
Why didn’t you write about this before?
I consider myself a humorist. I prefer to write things that make people laugh. Writing about how I signed up to work for a company where I was not stylistically compatible with the owner is not very funny. In fact, it’s quite dry.
I have the kind of social outlook that if people aren’t laughing, they’re pissed off. I try to make people laugh, not go ballistic and freak out. As my stoner guidance counselor in high school once secretly confided to me: “Shit’s all right, you know?”
Comment Policy:
No bashing please. It makes the Chuckle god frown.
Nobody cares about Tucker Max. Write a good story.
Deal. Come back tomorrow.
One thing that troubles me about Rudius Media is that there were people both on the writing and the editorial staff who were inherently trusting, generous and good natured, and who appeared to suffer for these virtues. I think that’s as direct as I can be without straying into libellous territory.
Now in the interests of restoring favour with the Chuckle God I will close by asking you to imagine Shane MacGowan wearing full clown make-up.
Hi, just glad I found you after Rudius! I was afraid you stopped writing……
BC…I quit writing for a couple of reasons that had nothing to do with Rudius as a company per se. First and foremost, it was emotionally exhausting for me. The stuff I was writing took a great deal of energy…so much so that I felt that the technical and stylistic parts of my writing suffered. I look back on what I wrote, and it\’s pretty lousy storytelling. Definitely not my best work despite the compelling subject matter and assistance from Corman (Ben was my editor).
Also, I didn\’t really feel that my writing meshed well with the work you and Jane were producing. What you wrote is serious, but in the final analysis, it\’s intended to be funny. Mine was quite the opposite. I never once sat down and thought, \
I totally agree. When none of the authors I liked were updating on Redius I started doing some searching. I found Stokie on myspace, you over here (once again through myspace) and the only other person whom I wonder if is still writing is the guy from Devil Monkey.
It’s hard being a fan of a site that never updates, and when they do it\’s mostly verbal blow jobs given to Tucker Max (see tard-blog).
Hey J, sorry if it seemed like I was dragging you into this. It was not my intention. It’s just I do get occasional e-mails from people asking about it, and while I prefer not to be dramatic, I figured I’d just put this up on the one year anniversary of my last post so that people who were curious could find it.
I am thankful that you took the time to come here and respond (although it looks like you might have gotten cut off, if you can re-post I’ll delete the other one) and it’s good to hear from you.
I was lucky to find this after you quit rudius. I remmember when the DDHM started up, and aside form GaijinSmash (which was the only reason I went there for) was the only thing worth reading. Now in a days it\’s pure Smash and Shrink Talk.
We can read between the lines. Tucker Max is the reason why Rudius sucks. You are better off without that piece of sh*t. I would say that you have ten times the class of that guy, but ten times zero is zero, so instead I will say that you have more class than that guy ever will.
I’ll approve your comment, solely because you are a Kevin Smith fan, but please guys, let’s not bash.
EDIT: My friend Rob has pointed out to me that you may, in fact, work for Kevin Smith. If so, can I get an autograph? I’ll do an impression of Yoda having phone sex with Gollem in exchange.
DDHM is when I first started reading your work. I read your first entry and haven\\\’t stopped, so I\\\’ve been really curious about your departure. I was lucky enough to find you by stalking you through the webbernet and finding out about this site.
Unfortunately I have not been as lucky with the writer of Devil Monkey. Since it\\\’s been almost two years since his last entry, the Columbo inside of me has figured out that he too left Rudius. Have you heard anything about him or where/if he\\\’s writing. Your site and his were my two favourites and I was wondering what he\\\’s been up to.
Keep up the good work.
I’ve pointed out no such thing.
@Mark K
Devilmonkey has a myspace profile you can find here
I would message him and ask him what’s up.
I wish you told me about these //// constantly before, Andrew.
They’re annoying as hell.
I’ll look into it.
DevilMonkey’s pre-redius page is here: http://www.clusterlizard.net/
I have totally been wondering!
I’m very glad that you are still writing. Keep it up!
BC_i wondered where you had gone. missed your writing. no opinion on the rudius thing not being a writer and it being a casual read. i did wonder about not seeing updates from some of the more capable writers involved in the thing and hope their situation is not made of the same stuff. continued success to everyone though, i have laughed.
I laughed out loud at the \
I had always wondered what happened. I figured you had become busy and were not writing for a reason. Maybe you had contracted Ponape fatigue syndrome. I\’ve missed your writing and now I need to catch up on a year or so worth of stories.
Had I known where to find you I\’d have been here sooner.
I see what I assume is a true account (another site) that linked me here.
Forget that. If ever you and I are in the same place, I\’d be happy to spend at least as much as that paycheck you got at the bar.
You\’ve got talent. I read your stuff religiously, and the job you did with your \
Holy shit I found you again! I thought you had perished on the oil rig. Well, here\\\’s to the most entertaining and well-versed former writer of the Rudius bunch and goodbye to anything productive for the next couple of days…
Glad to have your readership, JB!
And hopefully I’ll be funny enough that you won’t miss work too badly.
I was wondering what happened to you, just found this through google.
It sucks that the trend at Rudius seems to be, find good writers, start an awesome site, have the site die after a couple months.
I think the biggest example is hoo-ah.net. One of my favorite sites but nothing has been heard from him in 3 years. But also, devilmonkey, slowchildrenatplay, and daddydonthitme where the updates just stopped.
You’d think the readers would at least deserve something like whats on FireOnTheLine or TardBlog, letting us know the site is no longer being updated.
My only hope is that these people are all working on awesome book deals and thats why the sites aren’t being updated.
Hope all is well and can’t wait to see what else you have in store for us.
Were you upset because Rudius didn’t pay you what you thought you deserved or because Rudius didn’t pay you what you were owed under the contract you entered with Rudius?
If Rudius paid you what you were owed under your contract, then you were a total douche for complaining about the pay you received, and Tucker was correct to tell you to fuck off.
@PM
A little of both actually. When I first signed on Rudius kind of heralded itself as extremely successful in all ways. I didn’t expect a whole lot of money (25% of the gross was my cut) but at no time did anyone say “effectively zero” which, in my opinion, is at least a little bit dishonest. I was paid $82 for six months, for your information.
My e-mail was firm but polite so the hostility was a little bit unexpected. I kept silent about it for a year, and didn’t even raise a fuss about it until my friend V started to get harassed in her personal life by Tucker fans. If it hadn’t been for that I wouldn’t have said boo.
Listen, I understand you’re angry, but I’m not the only ex-Rudius author to feel this way.
@Tim
As far as I know philalawyer is the only person who has a book deal besides the already established writers.
Right now Tucker Max is trying to suck his own dick and is reading this blog entry with tears in his eyes because he realizes what a cruel and horrible man he was. Not that when he’s sad he tries to suck his own dick, he’s just got into the habit of doing that EVERY NOW AND AGAIN.
Uh… fun times?
Well, I found your site because of Gawker using you as the Pin Up boy for all things Evil about Tucker Max.
#-I can\’t stand Gwaker. I can\’t believe I even spend the 10 minutes a month on the site that I do, but
#-I found Tucker Max a few years back (in 2004), read 3-4 of his stories, laughed my ass off, and quickly forgot about him.
#-I circle back around because of Indie-talk of his movie…and found your site…
You deserve 10000 Karma points for your \
Well thank you, even though I’m afraid your comment got clipped. I really really wish I knew why that happened, and I’m sorry.
It’s because this is using a lesser platform of WordPress. It will be fixed when we update your theme.
Asshole.
Well shucks man, I missed you just the same as the rest of these folks. I found you on Rudius around when you posted your last there, and then checked the page every couple of weeks for a year until just now. Glad you\’re still around.
The other guy I still miss is Hoo-ah. Any idea what happened to him?
I first read about TM back in 2000 at really the falling of the VC boom and everyone that was anyone had some brilliant internet company that was going to change the world. They just needed your money to make that happen, anyway that\’s where I first found TM. I aplaud you for your comments on keeping things quiet after someone leaves an orginaztion and I too think it\’s a cowardly act not to acknowledge the departure of talent. Nonetheless, you seem to be an amazing writer and have now picked up a new fan. Regardless of the fifty bucks that those seven months put in your pocket. Best wishes, and good luck my friend.
Tucker is a douche. Just ignore that waste of space. You’re better than every other one of the blogs on that shitty network. Especially Ryan Holiday. My god is that fucking twat annoying.
BC, I must say that I am truly sorry about what happened with Rudius. I actually used to a huge Tucker Max fantard, now I\’m upset to share a first name with that man. I would like to tell you that I thoroughly enjoy your writing, and hope that you continue to keep up the good work in the future.
Best Regards.
“Have you ever been hired somewhere and had all of your co-workers refuse to mention the person that had your job before you did? No. Because that would be creepy.” -BC Woods
I laughed out loud when I read this in the above article. I’ve worked at my present company for TEN YEARS and I just found out LAST WEEK that I was hired to take the place of a young lady who was fired from that position. Until then, I was under the impression that I was hired to fill a NEWLY FORMED POSITION! And yeah, it was a little creepy when I found out the truth!
I would like to know if you are following the Tucker Max movie fiasco. If you are, do you enjoy the failure that Tucker is experiencing?
Well crappus I haven’t responded here in a while… but since it is sufficiently buried and there is little chance of any drama, here goes.
@Action Jack
No idea on Hoo-ah. That site hadn’t been updated for a while even when I started. From what I gathered though I don’t believe it’s going to be updating any time soon. Bottom line though: I don’t know.
@ybhumble
Thank you good sir, or madame, as the case may be.
@Tucker
Thank you and I have no plans on stopping any time soon.
@Melanie
See, things like that just make me think “Well, obviously my boss is a vampire” because the only logical explanation is “the person who had this job before me was murdered, drained of blood, and buried in the middle of nowhere. The vampire and his evil servants obviously just use this job to lure in fresh victims.”
Because really, that’s where my mind goes.
Check under the carpets in your dining room to make sure there aren’t any penatcles or runes that are being used to prepare you for demonic consumption.
@RandKyoto
I have to an extent, because it’s kind of hard to ignore given that rather unfortunate career choice I made a few years ago. That being said, I don’t spend time obsessing. The extent of my knowledge is that it didn’t do as well as had been hoped by those involved. I didn’t enjoy it under-performing, because I don’t dislike Tucker Max to the extent that I would wish ill on other people.
I mostly just don’t think about it. I have enough worries between the kids, my job, and finding time to write. Also, I have one of those very uncomfortable zits at the moment that refuses to form a head and has decided to set up shop right in the corner fold of my mouth. It hurts like a bastard and that is occupying most of my attention at this time. I think I’m going to go get a needle and a candle and take care of it.
I was under the impression that hoo-ah was Tucker Max writing about his failed attempt at enlisting in the army, for what it’s worth.
@themadthinker
I had heard it was someone else (who was later found out to be a fraud which would explain the stoppage in stories), and the time-lines more or less match but I don’t really know for certain.
Also, someone told me that someone had said all the sites were going down soon, so I guess we’ll never know.
I am sure you have heard by now, but Rudius is done, Tucker blames the writers for not contributing enough. What an ass-hat.
I always wondered what happened there. I remember reading your website quite a few times when you were with Rudius. Who wants to be associated with a literary fraud anyways? Keep on kickin on homeslice!